The DNA of My Bipolar Thinking
© July 28, 2007
Richard O. Harris
© July 28, 2007
Richard O. Harris
Sometimes thoughts occur to me that I would rather not think,
As they reveal to me parts of my personality I would rather not face.
Thoughts of rejections, put-downs, intentional hurts, and pains,
Those of ALL the unacknowledged sacrifices I have made.
Yet even as these thoughts occur, the opposing thought also appears,
Making me wonder if the two opposites are somehow forever linked.
Perhaps I have been the only one to think this way but I highly doubt it.
There, you see, two seemingly different patterns of thought arrive.
I could just as easily say I am sure I am not alone but that is just a disguise.
It simply conveys I have thought I was alone without saying it out loud.
God, Life, Mother Nature, whatever you choose to call IT has been good.
IT has also thrown me a great deal of pain and anguish that was not needed.
Some may understand why I stay so confused as I muddle through my life.
Others may criticize me for being honest about my constant uncertainty.
I have heard my willingness to express such ideas and thoughts as emotional immaturity.
Others want to use different labels such as self-pity, dishonesty, and non-believing.
What is said is rarely flattering and often reveals more about the speaker than the subject.
As one can beget the other so the other can beget the one and either beget another
The careful aligning of the DNA of My Bipolar Thinking is delicate to maintain balance.
Science has come a long way with the biological aspects of DNA that provides hope.
Hope for a day when chemical intervention can become, at least, more accurate.
Yet, today the DNA of My Bipolar Thinking is such a mixture of opposing thoughts
I cannot conceive of a time I will honestly be objective enough to separate them.
Hey Rick,
ReplyDeleteThat was really good...You're blog site is wonderful and I really enjoy reading your writings.. So please don't stop, keep it going!!
Dear Rick,
ReplyDeleteI have been keeping up with your blog and really felt a connection with your last writing. An understanding that goes deeper than the words on the page. I know it's been a long and hard struggle for you to deal with everything you have had to deal with physically, mentally, and emotionally. Yet I also Know God doesn't put anymore on us then we can handle. God knew you have the strength and faith to handle what life has thrown at you. I know (now) that you have dealt with a lot for a very long time. I have only dealt with this "struggle" for a few short years. I guess I just want you to know that I felt very alone with this "struggle" and then God showed me "YOU". Your strength and faith is much stronger than mine yet, my faith and strength has grown because of "YOU". It has been a true source of comfort for me to know, I am not alone.
When I start feeling down and beaten, I think of you and all you've been through....then I pray that God forgives me for being so weak and petty but, most of all thatGod keeps you in his loving care. I know God will see us through all of this. Thank you for just being "YOU" I love you