The New HIV/AIDS Myth - Disease and Drug Free (D/D Free)
© June 22, 2007
Richard O. Harris

As a person with Internet access to all types of sites, I often find my self viewing personal ads for one reason or another (honestly, usually prurient interests). Whether it is more prevalent in the Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender, or Heterosexual community I cannot say. What I can say, since I am an HIV+ gay man, is that I see a Dangerous Deception creeping back into the local and national community.

This deception is insidious, as it seems to be acceptable to most of this population on a ‘face’ value or a self-advertising level. I have read numerous ads where the individual claims to be “Disease and Drug Free” (D/D Free) and requests “U B 2” (you be too). These ads have been increasingly disturbing to me mainly because I was D/D Free my self until I wasn’t one day (imagine trying to tell a spouse/significant other of 15+ years that he/she needs to be tested for HIV and recall the names of any other sexual partners so you can tell them too).

I can honestly understand and empathize with the desire to promote one’s self as a promising candidate (especially when seeking someone to share the rest of your life or when seeking a romantic and/or sexual partner). The difficulty for me, at least, is these same individuals often promote themselves as honest, caring individuals. I do believe they consider themselves to be honest and caring but have to take issue with the Dual Denial yet to be acknowledged.

Until HIV/AIDS permeated our lives so dramatically and so completely, I do not believe any of these same individuals would have given the ‘d/d free’ part of their ads any thought (mainly because I would not have and we all know that everyone else thinks “like me” – well, you do, don’t you?). Now entering the third decade of HIV/AIDS, a level of saturation, or complacency, has settled in and we are no longer daily harangued by the catastrophic tolls HIV/AIDS takes on a daily basis. Even the news media appears to have shipped the disease overseas to third world countries rather than report on the continued increase in cases among U. S. local populations.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) www.cdc.gov and local Public Health Departments still monitor and maintain statistics throughout the country but none of us (my self included) want to see it in our own back yard. Perhaps these are some of the rationales many use to avoid the risks we are taking when we utilize D/D Free as a self-promotion. Still, such a misnomer can be misleading both to our selves and to others.

Taken individually, the disease free portion of the advertisement appears to me to mean the person truly believes he/she does not have HIV and/or other sexually transmitted diseases (after all, the person is definitely not talking about asthma). The truth remains, however, that the most honest an individual can be about this portion is that he/she tested negative to the antibodies for this or that disease on such and such a date. The deeper truth still is the person has some reason to ‘fear’ others will think he/she may be an undesirable risk with good cause to think so since he/she is advertising.

This does not indicate, to me at least, that people are being Deliberately Deceptive. It does point out to me people are beginning to internalize the falsehood that a negative test result means they absolutely do not pose any risk to others. The possibilities of a return to the devastations of the epidemic in this country of the first decade of HIV/AIDS (or HTLVIII/GRID as it was then labeled) in this country are extremely frightening for me as I watched helplessly through the first two decades as so many I loved suffered and died through excruciating agony of mind and spirit.

It also does not indicate to me these individuals are not caring. It seems they care enough to know whether are not they do have antibodies to certain diseases and they care enough to let others know it. At the same time, disease free advertising lets those of us that are HIV+ know up front these individuals want nothing sexual to do with us no matter our other qualities (a little anger here but please don’t say to me ‘some of my dearest friends are HIV+’ after posting such an ad).

In similar vein, the second portion of this self-promotion, drug free, is also misleading in my experience. Perhaps the most notorious are those that say drug free in one sentence but then state ‘420 (marijuana) friendly’ or ‘occasionally use poppers’ (amyl or butyl nitrate) further along in the ad. After all, both marijuana and the nitrates are illegal in most states except a few where they are allowed for ‘medicinal’ purposes.

Again, I believe these individuals are being ‘honest’ in their own view of things. Many cultures blend in our society and what is ‘acceptable’ by one may be ‘taboo’ to another. Yet the fact remains the drug free portion of these ads are not discussing legal or illegal drugs, they are simply stating the individual who posted the ad does not believe he/she is using an ‘unacceptable’ substance. The deeper truth here is simply there are some things the individual does not want to be exposed to (after all, alcohol, tobacco, aspirin, etc. are all drugs).

This ‘drug free’ portion also does not show these individuals are not caring. It is stating (although very vaguely) there are certain drugs the individual does not use/abuse and he/she cares enough to let us all know he/she does not want to be around those who do use/abuse them (if you can figure out which drugs are meant) regardless of what the individuals other qualities may be. In some cases, like drugs that can get you sent to prison – cocaine – I can completely agree; in others, like drugs needed to maintain a health condition like diabetes – insulin – I wholeheartedly disagree.

Bringing all of this together, I have now begun to read these ads as Double Dependability Free (D/D Free). Not because I consider these ads are not ‘honest and caring’ but because I have to face my own undesirability each time I see U B 2 (you be too). I have tested it and the fact remains, when and unless I disclose my HIV+ status to others I often attract my fair portion of such partners (though age is also closing that gap).

Unfortunately, there are HIV+ people who will for these very reasons not disclose their status. There are also those who will not get tested so they do not need to disclose their status and rely on tests done months and even years ago. Most dangerous are those who are on the ‘dl’ (down low) or ‘require discretion’ (because they are married or are pretending to their partners they are being monogamous thus putting their own family/ spouse/significant other at risk each time also.

It is simple enough for anyone with Internet or other personal ads access to check my reasoning here. All you need do is count the number of ads that are posting DD Free, on the ‘DL’, ‘Discretion Required’, etc. specifics on any of the lists available. Yes, I still check the ads and yes I post my HIV+ status online.

None of this, of course, necessarily makes me a ‘better’ person than others. Still, I do have my opinions on things and like to share them with others (as well as secretly re-read them). What it does do, I hope, is open a forum for discussion among the various ‘at-risk’ groups still priding themselves on their Dual Denial of what is happening or could happen each time a risk is taken. I am not a scaremonger but I do believe in trying to face my enemies and this Dual Denial is definitely an enemy in my opinion.

For example the number of Annual Reported HIV Cases for All Ages in the state I live, Florida, currently ranks second in the nation preceded by New York and followed by Georgia (http://www.statehealthfacts.org/cgi-bin/healthfacts.cgi?action=compare&category=HIV%2fAIDS&subcategory=Annual+Reported+HIV+Infections+%28Cases%29&topic=Annual+Reported+HIV+Cases+All+Ages#footnote2). Yet, the proliferation of DD Free ads continues and is mostly relied upon as factual by any person responding to such an ad. Mainly because there is no way to verify whether or not that person is telling the truth (since that individual often may not know him/her self).

The self-promotion in such ads clearly indicates to me others are becoming less concerned with consequence than with conquest once again (or did that ever really change?). What action can be taken to avoid another re-birth of the rampant spread of HIV I do not know. I do know I hope never again to live through a period of despair and helplessness like that of the first wave of this epidemic in our country.

In the meantime, I will do what I can to promote clearer understanding and increased awareness among those I can. I will not address or even respond to the various moral beliefs of one faction or another. I can best serve, in my opinion, by sharing what I observe to be one of the most Dangerous Deceptions creeping into our lives.