Infant Images

Infant Images
Part 3 of Memories
Richard O. Harris

They tell me I was born on a hot, summer day (well night actually but still hot). This occurred somewhere in the rural south. Though I could provide dates and times from official documents, I personally do not recall them.

Still, the earliest memory I feel I can honestly claim as my own is not provable though quite likely. I can even now recall the motion as I look at a blue sky stained with occasional clouds. I want to believe I was riding in a car in my mother’s arms but do not know that as part of the memory.

In truth, it could just as easily have been any mode of travel with anyone or no one at all holding me. What captures my attention though is that my first memory is a feeling not a fact. Although accompanied by broken visual images, it is the feeling of motion that remains the strongest part of the memory.

The feelings of my mother’s arms and the blue sky may be supplied by my present understanding of how best to describe that motion. The motion itself, of course, may have had some other source but the memory of motion is very real. Nevertheless, such illustration is simply meant to convey the sense of warmth and well being associated with that memory.

It is simply a memory of yet more feelings and, so far, not one single provable fact. Did my mother ever hold me in her arms on a clear day while riding in a car? Most likely she did but I could never prove that to anyone. At least, not using my memory alone.

With that said, I also find it interesting to note I never seem to recall the feelings of discomfort (i.e. wet diapers) I have seen other infants experience. Yet, I know I would not want to be cold, wet, or hungry for very long at a time even now. Is it part of the human psyche to “forget” or “delete” such memories?

Were these experiences so “traumatic” that I had to block them from my mind like a shell-shocked war veteran? Or were they so repetitious I ‘learned’ by that repetition that they were only temporary as I began to manipulate others into resolving them? Were these my first efforts at understanding time and how to get someone to do what I wanted?

That's all for now