MY DECLARATION OF DEPENDENCE

MY DECLARATION OF DEPENDENCE

When in the course of life’s events it becomes necessary through an honest self-inventory for one person to make amends for the hurts which have disconnected him from others and to admit his own defects of character by which the Laws of God and of God’s grace he has been granted forgiveness, an honest appreciation for the contributions of others demands that he should desire the willingness to repair the differences that have caused him to become separated from those he has harmed.

He knows these experiences to be self-revelatory, that he has not treated all others as equal, that he did not provide them with the opportunity to show him compassion, that among his shortcomings have been intolerance, bigotry, and self-indulgence -- That to pursue their forgiveness, he must depend upon the grace and virtue of those he harmed, acquiring his willingness and ability to perform his amends through his complete surrender to God – That wherever the opportunity to make amends is presented, it is his responsibility to be willing to do so, to be sincere in his efforts, and to avoid doing further harm, holding forth the hope that by initiating such action God will remove these defects of his character so as to prevent any future recurrences of such injuries to others in comparable circumstances and accept the injured party’s right to respond as able to his attempts to make those amends.

Care to avoid further injury, indeed, will dictate his actions to insure his amends are not disguised for purely selfish gain and are not done for superficial reasons; and accordingly all his experience will show that others have been more likely to forgive, when allowed to forgive, than to avenge themselves against him by retaliating for the evil he has done them or those they loved.

However, when he has caused a long train of hurt and injury to others, pursuing only his own profit or pleasure as evidenced by the reduction of their ability to retain affection for him, it is their right to accept or reject any attempt he may make to repair the damage his actions has caused, to repel him from their presence, and to seek stronger, healthier relationships with others for their future safety and sanity. Their patient suffering has been their burden alone and only God’s love with their forgiveness can release them from responding in disbelief to his sincerity.

He, therefore, the person who has done harm, must appeal to the Supreme Judge of the world for the opportunities needed to provide those harmed with alterations to his actions such that they are satisfied that he means them no further injury and has accepted God's will for his life.

That the injured are and of right ought to be free of obligation to him, that they are absolved from acceptance of his advances, and that all future connections, if any, are and ought to be the injured party’s sole preference.

He further acknowledges that injuries others may have done him is not his to rectify and, being reminded of his own shortcomings, that he will remain open to the possibility and/or future attempts by those who have injured him. Not anticipating their amends but praying for their salvation. Such that God may establish within him the same capability for forgiveness and peace which he so desperately seeks.

Thereby, acknowledging these truths as set forth, he admits to his dependence upon others and submits to the Power and Glory of God for mutual redemption of those he has injured and those that may have injured him. Freely acknowledging that he cannot abide alone and that he finds his dependence to be spiritually mutual among those he comes in contact with past, present, and future. And to confirm his belief in this Declaration, with a solid reliance on the immortal love of God, he pledges his life, his future, and his salvation.

To all of those I have harmed, I hereby sign my name as a testament to make such amends to the best of my ability as stated in this My Declaration of Dependence upon all of you and upon God,

Signed this 8th day of March in the year of our Lord 2007 by Richard O. Harris

Anonymous

Anonymous
(Don’t know where I found this but discovered it tremendously reinforcing!!!)

I love you not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you.

I love you not only for what you made of your self but for what you are making of me.

I love you for the part of me you bring out.

I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart and passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can’t help seeing there and drawing out into the light all the beautiful belonging that no one else looked far enough to find.

I love you because you helped me to make of the lumber of my life not a tavern, but a temple: out of my works, of my every day, not a reproach, but a song.

I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me feel goodness.

You have done it, with your touch, with your words, with yourself.

Friends, lovers, those who believe in us make us rise to the best of ourselves.

God creates the best in us: He loves it into being.

I, TOO 1990

I, TOO
1990
Richard O Harris

I, too, have witnessed the death of those who loved me as only a family could after my own family cast me away.

I, too, have seen the quick, seemingly peaceful death suicide has brought to some as well as the agonizing, tortuous laboring for the last breath of those who even then cling to the hope that “this is not really happening to me”.

I, too, have grieved over many young friends my own age and felt the guilty joy of one who has been spared—so far.

I, too, will grieve as each one passes and my life and my world lose their sources of companionship, talent, love, and dinner parties one by one.

I, too, will be forever “scarred” by what has become the holocaust of my day with all of its ramification –past, present, and to come.

Yet, I, too, will continue to live, love, and hope while I have breath left to breathe and life left to live.

I, too, will strive for happiness even as each of them die never to be replaced—only forgotten as those who remember them fade from history.

I, too, will work to make my life and my world a better place even as we lose our most valuable assets when these dying are no more.

I, too, will embrace life as I have learned from those who died that this is the place I belong and the purpose I serve—for now.

I, too, will cherish the love we shared and feel gratitude that I have come to know what the words love and life signify in all their shades of meaning.

Will you, too, bury your dead and join me with your memories of joy as well as pain so
we might ease the loneliness and increase the happiness each of us is able to feel?

LET'S NOT 1990

LET’S NOT
1990
Richard O Harris

Let’s not use the disease that has ravaged our lives to fuel the anger, hatred, and bigotry against others each of us has had to face.

Let’s not wallow in our grief and sorrow over the death of those we love until our own lives become bitter or even worse meaningless.

Let’s not keep the memories of our pain and anguish as the only source of motivation left in a life, which has suffered enough losses.

Let’s not forget the joy and happiness we once knew with them simply because their affliction causes us to fear for ourselves.

Let’s not dishonor our friends, lovers, and acquaintances by sharing only our grief with each other and withholding the best of all they gave us.

Let’s not allow our lives to become a parody of their death for we will have to help others die knowing they are loved even as we continue to live.

Let’s not allow our guilt for having been spared overshadow whatever time remains to the rest of us.

Let’s not permit death, disease, and suffering to become the only common ties between us and sever us from what joy remains to be had with each other.

Let’s not let their only epithet become “he/she died of AIDS” or we deny not only their entirety but our own.

Let’s not give up demanding, looking, praying, and hoping for a cure or we may overlook the one avenue by which it can be obtained.

Let’s not stop educating ourselves and others or we may miss the opportunity to save another life.

LET’S NOT

Visions 1988

Visions
August 1988
Richard O Harris

Until I learned to make peace with my visions I did not know the things I had been taught. The word “love” was an experience others had, and always seemed to have definite pre-requisites. The values of good and bad, right and wrong were arbitrary and fluctuating with each judgment made dependent on one limited view. The hopes of tomorrow and the regrets of the past were all to be met with dread and self-loathing. The most conscious act, thought, and word was always aimed toward survival and power over all else whatever that all else was conceived to be.

When I learned to make peace with my visions, I knew that I had not learned the things I had been taught. The idea “love” was a foreign and unknown concept instituted by others to unbalance and mislead me. The values of good and bad, right and wrong were real and concrete insuring that I would never be able to withstand any judgment. The hopes of tomorrow and the regrets of the past were all intentional and deserved deprivations. The most conscious thought, act, and word was always aimed at keeping me from becoming more than I was allowed to become with those limitations I had willingly submitted to.

Now that I have made peace with my visions; knowing, learning, and being taught are things that change with each experience or circumstance. “Love” has become a comfortable and real experience whose beauty is beyond description and whose limitations are created by my own desires. The values of good and bad, aright and wrong are no real values but only words used to describe whether I am willing to accept those things about myself or others that appear daily. The hopes of tomorrow and the regrets of the past, while not absent, are withdrawn from this moment. The most conscious thought, act and word are no longer weapons being used against me and my will but have become tools designed to help me grow, to help shape my growth, and to prevent me from being overcome by uglier or less usable forms of life.

I did not want to make peace with my visions. And I still, at times, declare war upon them. But I am no longer frightened by them and it is this vision that is the most peaceful of them all.