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© January 27, 2008
Richard O. Harris
It has been some time (since before Christmas) that I have done any writing here but hopefully I can do some catching up now. It was a busy holiday season and, without getting into too many details, I am glad to see the end of it and 2007. There were some positive notes to end the year with so I will focus on those and go from there.
Of course, this means I will need to steer clear of all the political maneuvering and shenanigans but cannot promise I will succeed. It is all too easy for me to voice an opinion these days only to be stunned by some new tidbit immediately following my endorsement or criticism of a candidate. Suffice it to say, for now, may each of you VOTE with the thoughtfulness that our forefathers gave to providing us that liberty.
As life goes for now, my health (and those of others I hold dear) is an on again/off again thing. Nonetheless, we have each been there for the other and continue to struggle through as best we can. My relationships with most are peaceful and positive while those few that are not continue to evolve slowly but surely in the direction they are meant to become I believe.
I have received approval from my employer for long-term disability but continue to have difficulty with the Social Security Agencies. Since my employer’s approval has removed some of the financial strains I was under, I took the advice many were giving me and engaged a lawyer to appeal the Social Security’s denial. I can only hope the lawyer can acquire the approval I could not before my employer’s long-term disability runs out.
While all of this continues to transpire, I have joined a local support group for HIV+ people. It is help when I can attend the weekly meetings but I still feel the losses experienced in 2007 very heavily. I also continue to see my doctors on a regular basis that means, of course, they continue to postulate new theories (the most recent that I have a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that causes me to loose the REM sleep I need to be healthier).
I have also progressed to using an Auto Pap machine while I sleep to help reduce the number of times I stop breathing in my sleep because of my sleep apnea. This with the numerous medications I am supposed to take daily is almost a full time job. Still, I think I am getting better with complying with the regimens though many days I continue to wonder where I will find the strength for that day.
Fortunately for me, I have a strong belief that this is only “life on life’s terms” and not a punishment of any kind. I will continue to do the next thing in front of me and let the rest wait its turn. Most fortunately, I have many who love me and the support and assistance of a caring domestic partner on a daily basis.
For these things, I am eternally grateful. I have “changed what I can change” and now must continue working on “accepting what I cannot change”. Until the next time, remain well and if you find it too difficult to tell others you love them remember you can still let that love show through your actions.
